11 Dec BONUS YSS: Be true to yourself
Brad has his hands all over Brenda’s body. She is uncomfortable about it. She hesitates because she is afraid that if she makes Brad stop, then he won’t want to go out with her again.
But she remembers that she made a promise to herself to respect herself. She is going to communicate her boundaries:
Brenda: “Can we slow it down here? I’m not totally comfortable with this.”
Most guys (and girls, if the situation were reversed) will respect this. But for the sake of argument, let’s say Brad is not listening, so Brenda continues because she is going to stick with her promise to herself….
Brenda: “Brad, honestly, your hands are faster than a wide receiver’s. You need to chill out or we just won’t be able to hang out so much.”
Brad: “Brenda, are you kidding? It’s our second time seeing each other. Let’s move this along faster. You know we both want it.”
This kind of talk is meant to make Brenda feel guilty so that the other person (Brad) gets his or her way. Now Brenda needs to be strong and stick with the promise she made to herself.
Brenda: “And now you are talking as if you think I am going to fall for cheap lines. Are you the one who is kidding? This is my body, not yours. I don’t think you can tell me what I want or not. Even though this is our second time seeing each other, I think for now it’s our last.”
Then Brenda got up and walked away. Following through on her promise to herself gave her courage and confidence. Although she felt a momentary sadness over losing Brad’s attention and affection, and yes, a momentary awkwardness, she was well aware that a person’s affection is not worth compromising (meaning to reduce the quality of) her boundaries.
A person who likes you for you will wait until you feel ready. Remember to be true to yourself and to live by your own personal values not someone else’s.