BONUS YSS: Be clear about your boundaries

You meet a totally hot guy at a high school party. He seems really into you. Awesome! As you move closer and closer out of other people’s range you suddenly realize you are in another room and no one is around. He begins to make really intense (somewhat violent) moves on you, practically pinning you against the wall. As he holds you tight with one hand and begins to unbutton his pants with the other, he says, “Now there is something I need you to take care of.” What would you do?

This is the kind of situation where no amount of verbal boundary is going to keep him from trying to get his way: it was planned from the get go. This is the situation you need to AVOID. Do not let yourself get brought into the next room! You need to be vigilant (meaning really aware) of your surroundings at all times. But if you do find yourself in this type of situation, be blunt and to the point. “I’m leaving,” not “I want to leave” – as that will give the message that the point is open to debate. Say it and go.

If it escalates, and he (or maybe she in some cases) doesn’t let you go, you will need to use self-defense and you will need to scream. Often, girls are taught to be polite and they don’t want to scream and embarrass anyone, but embarrassment is nothing compared to being physically abused. Don’t risk it.

Ask yourself: What kind of strength does it take to get out of that situation? Name the qualities and actions needed. Are you up for it? Why or why not? What fears come up? How would you help a friend in the situation?

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