08 Feb Will this mean I will get divorced someday too?
No. Just because your parents got divorced doesn’t mean you will too. What the future brings is not dependent on what your parents did. What’s important now is to remember that you give your self the best chances of a happy healthy relationship when you know who you are.
That’s why the work you do now in getting to know yourself is so important. The more you know yourself (know your boundaries, know your passions, know your needs, and all the other 1,258 amazing things about who you are), the more likely you are to find someone who is compatible with who you are. It’s when you don’t know who you are and don’t have an awareness of your needs that you are at risk of marrying someone who is not compatible (meaning, works well with) with who you are.
Everyone who has ever been married will agree: marriage takes work and that work is not always easy (contrary to the fairy tales and “happily ever after”). One of the secrets to long lasting marriages, confirmed by many surveys, is ….. communication. And communication comes about when you are willing to share your thoughts and feelings with someone. Furthermore, you are most likely to succeed, when you know your self and are willing to do the work when the need arises (rather than ignoring those feelings that something is wrong before it’s too late).
Some kids grow up with divorced parents and they say, “I will never do that to my kids!” Unfortunately, some of them end up getting a divorce anyway. But even more unfortunate is those who stay in a very unhappy or even abusive marriage because they swore to themselves, and maybe even to their children, that they would never divorce. The best way you can reduce the risk of that being you is to keep challenging your self to discover your self.
You have the choice, power and control as to which path you take in life. When you believe that you are worthy of love and that you are good enough just as you are, then you are likely to be treated with kindness and respect. This is the path toward a healthy relationship so you are less likely to worry about divorce.
Divorce is not failure. Divorce is a change. Depending on how it is handled it can be a devastating change or it can be a new normal. But being true to who you are and finding your happiness will help you to manage whatever comes your way.
What do you think helps people to avoid divorce? Can you do anything to decrease your risk?