08 Feb Am I the only one?
If your parents are getting a divorce:
You are not the only one whose parents fight.
You are not the only one who feels hurt and/or afraid and/or confused.
You are not the only one going through a divorce.
You are not alone.
However, it can feel like you are alone both because, let’s face it, the two people you (probably) normally turn to for help are at the center of your feelings! And those feelings can be quite overwhelming. How you feel is unique to you:
Your friend, Eric might be totally relieved that his parents divorced. Now he doesn’t have to see his mom as much—she was an alcoholic and would beat him.
Your neighbor, Tasha, went through a terrible time because her father moved to a different state and took her older sister with him.
Your uncle was devastated when your aunt (your dad’s sister) left him. He seems depressed now and doesn’t visit your family as much.
How do you feel?
Confused? Why are they getting a divorce?
Angry? I can’t believe they are doing this to our family! They are so selfish!
Relieved? Now I know why they have been so distant. Maybe now the fighting will get better.
Happy? I hate my father, he hits me. I’ll be glad to get away from him.
Sad? I really wish we could all be together. I love both my parents so much.
Whatever you feel, try to remember that your parents have decided that they no longer want to be married to each other because of issues they have between them. That’s not about you.
If you’ve ever seen the movie, Good Will Hunting, you may recall the moment when the psychiatrist says over and over to Will (played by Matt Damon), “It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.” Until Will finally breaks down because it was not his fault.
Moreover, whatever you feel, allow yourself to feel it. Acknowledge your feelings.
Why? Well, that’s in the next sub post.
Name 5 feelings you (or a friend you know) might have as a result of your (his/her) parents divorcing.
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