The first rule of any relationship

Yes, it is a cliche, but you can not have a successful relationship with anyone (A-N-Y-O-N-E) until you have a solid relationship with your self. Whoa there, person-reading-this-post! Before you react in an eyes-rolling, where’s-my-grandma-cause-you’ve-got-nothing-on-her kind of a way, keep reading.

Meet Sam One. Sam One did not really know who she was and dated Patrick because Patrick liked Sam One. That was pretty much the only reason they started dating. Patrick picked out Sam One as someone he wanted to date and not knowing what she wanted, Sam One agreed to date him. Why? Because Sam One liked the attention. It felt nice to have someone pay attention to her (normal!!!).

But over time, Patrick started to be mean to Sam One. He would would ditch her to be with his friends, ignore her texts and talk behind her back. Sam One knew these things, but she worried that she was the reason Patrick was being mean. Maybe she wasn’t smart enough, or pretty enough or funny enough… so she kept trying to gain Patrick’s attention back. In the end, Patrick broke up with Sam One telling her he never really liked her in the first place. Sam One was then really, really, really hurt, and really really confused.

Did Sam One put her self-worth in Patrick’s hands? Did Sam One have a solid relationship with her self before dating Patrick? What do you think?


Meet Sam Two (we don’t know how they got their last names btw). Sam Two hears that Patrick likes her. She doesn’t really know Patrick; she has seen him in one or two of her classes, but they have never really hung out.  Sam Two says so to her friend, who was the one who had asked Sam Two if she was interested in dating him. As a result, Patrick starts to sit with them at the lunch table. At first Patrick seems nice but then Sam Two notices that he ditched his friends after school a few times, he interrupts her and he blows off a lot of the texts he gets from some of his friends. She decides he’s just not her type. Sam Two was then really fine hanging out with her old lunch friends again.

 Did Sam Two put her self-worth in Patrick’s hands? Did Sam Two have a solid relationship with her self before dating Patrick? What do you think?


Knowing what you want in a relationship is part of knowing who you are… and what these posts are all about. Knowing what you like, don’t like, want, don’t want, expect etc., all all unique aspects of you. When you haven’t thought about these things, you can end up in a relationship like Sam One (or an even worse relationship than that) because you won’t have started dating with the things you want in mind. You can end up dating with some one else taking the driver’s wheel and that can leave you at a dead end.

In a relationship, no one is supposed to be “in the driver’s seat” of the relationship. A relationship is co-created by the people in it and those people should both have control. That means both people want to be in the relationship, both people like want happens in the relationship and both people contribute to it. When any of these become imbalanced, that’s when a relationship may be in trouble or someone might get hurt. Safeguard yourself by thinking now about what you want…


Post Question:

What makes you attracted to a person?

Answer the post question here

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

What's being said

  • WLKHS1209
    Posted at 22:45h, 12 November Reply

    As humans we are naturally inclined to engage in sexual relationships. Despite this, I think that a person’s physical appearance is equally as important as their personality. When I find that I “like” someone, I feel that I think of them more than just a sexual partner, I think of them as a good companion.

  • WLKHS1216
    Posted at 21:32h, 08 November Reply

    Looks and personality are what makes me attracted to a person. Looks are not always the case when I like someone because a person could be really good-looking but have a terrible personality, so I do not like them anymore. But personality is what really counts because a person’s personality is what determines how they treat you in a relationship. And after all, everyone wants to be treated kindly in any relationship.

  • wlkhs1321
    Posted at 16:38h, 08 November Reply

    The persons personality and traits is what makes me attracted to them. However, sometimes looks come into play as well that can alter my thoughts on a person (in a non-negative way).

  • WLKHS1310
    Posted at 16:29h, 08 November Reply

    What makes me attracted to person is their looks at first but then once I begin get to know them their personality is what actually makes me attracted to them overall on a crush level.

  • WLKHS1324
    Posted at 16:19h, 08 November Reply

    If they are respectful, nice and obviously good looking. If the person is disrespectful, or not loyal to other friends, she might not be nice and loyal to me.

  • WLKHS1115
    Posted at 13:59h, 07 November Reply

    I feel like if you’re attracted someone in my opinion, it’s because their personality reminds you of yourself or someone. I’ve really only been in one relationship and at first I was attracted to them by their looks then it went from having a crush to being in a relationship yet, I didn’t know them that well when we were first dating but now, i know so much more about them and I feel like the more you know a person the more you get attracted to them. Like the little things you notice about their personality the more you find them attractive.

  • WLK1106
    Posted at 13:55h, 07 November Reply

    When someone is nice, funny, and respects me I become attracted to them. Spending a lot of time with them and having them give me a lot of attention also makes me attracted to them

1 2