27 Feb Bonus YSS: Getting more physical
Where do you want his or her hands? What do you do with yours?
If you are with Mr.- or Mrs.-Happy Hands that seem to be flying all over your body, and you don’t want them to, gently pull away and place those hands in yours. Resume kissing if you want;)
What are you doing with your body all this time?
What do you want to do with your body? What do you want the other person to do with his or her body?
As you move forward and become more physically intimate with someone, always consider what you want AND be respectful of what the other person wants. Forcing someone to do something he/she doesn’t want to do is NOT okay.
Being physically intimate with someone is supposed to feel good. If it doesn’t, you might want to consider that something is wrong. Take a step back and think about the relationship. Your gut is a warning sign for you to become more aware of what is happening in the situation and what is happening that is making you uncomfortable.
Freddie and Sam had been dating for three months. Freddie was feeling irritated with Sam’s insistence that they not do more than kiss. Sam (quite honestly) wasn’t so sure about dating Freddie but it made her feel popular and special to do so. One day Freddie took matters into his own hands, literally. Sam was not amused and pulled away. Freddie persisted saying that it was about time to move forward. Sam felt pressured. Sam didn’t want to lose the relationship but was very unsure about moving forward physically.
If something ever makes you feel embarrassed or ashamed, that’s a REALLY big warning flag that you should stop.
Tiana and Jess had been dating for three months. So far they had experienced a lot of making out. At first the kissing felt purely physical but as they grew closer and closer they felt ready for more than just kissing. Jess brought up the topic, face to face, as they were waiting at the bus stop. They talked about it for a few days discussing how each person felt, what it might be like, how far they wanted to go and so on. They both felt confident and ready to move forward physically.
Talking about being physically intimate with your partner is another expression of intimacy as well. Consider having these conversations before being physical. You may find that talking about it not only relieves the pressure, but brings you a lot closer in the process.
However, talking about being physical ahead of time may not feel right to you, but please keep in mind that no matter whether or not you talk about it, being physically intimate with someone needs to feel right. If you are feeling pressured, you definitely need to consider talking about it.
So which relationship sounds more enjoyable to you: dating someone who makes you feel uncomfortable physically and disregards your desires, or dating someone with whom you can discuss all sorts of possibilities? You choose.
When it comes to being physical with someone, what’s the first emotion that you feel?