Dun, dun, dun, dun….. It’s time to kiss.

Meet Maggie. Maggie had her first kiss when she was 14. The boy she kissed was really cute and all, but the kiss was not so great. Having never kissed anyone, she began to wonder what the big deal was, or, worse, was she a bad kisser?

Totally normal things to consider! How often do you hear people say, “Please pass the kissing handbook.” Who teaches people to kiss? No one! Why? Probably well, umm, who knows really but below are a few things to consider along with some do’s and don’ts when it comes to kissing and getting physical in general.

The first thing to consider is:

Am I ready?

Do you want to kiss? Do you know if the other person wants to kiss? Well, that’s sort of half the excitement most times, the unknown and the anticipation that something might happen. But, if the thought is totally freaking you out, or you really don’t have any idea what the other person is thinking, perhaps you may want to talk about it first.  Sometimes talking about kissing is just as exciting as actually kissing.

One way or the other, determining if you are ready to kiss is important. (Or do anything more… fyi, a lot of what we are writing here about kissing applies to getting physical in more intense ways. This is especially true of the “Am I ready?” question.) We have heard too many teens say things like,

“I totally wasn’t ready. My first kiss was with someone I didn’t really like and so I’m kind of bummed that was my first kiss.” 

Or,

“I decided to kiss her because all my friends seemed to be doing it and I didn’t want to be the only person that hadn’t kissed. But that was a really stupid reason. I really wasn’t ready. In fact, I wasn’t really that interested in girls yet.”

So, Do have a discussion with yourself about whether or not you are ready to kiss (or do more… and consider the consequences of each new stage).

Don’t just go for it and then decide if it was the right time/thing to do.

Do talk to someone whom you trust who has experience in this area if you are feeling really scared or nervous and can’t seem to concentrate on anything else. Kissing is supposed to be intimate and fun and special, but it’s not something that should freak you out so much that you can’t think straight.

Don’t go around telling all of your friends what’s about to happen. Sharing intimate details in a relationship is not respectful of the other person unless you are 100% sure that other person is okay with you discussing it. (Likewise, don’t go talking about it afterwards as well.)

Do think about it enough to be prepared.

Don’t over think it because you might create too many expectations and blow the whole event.

Do take your time.

Don’t rush the kiss with tight lips and a sharp penetrating tongue.

Do look into the eyes of the other person beforehand. You are having an experience WITH someone. This is not a one way street.

Don’t look away as your faces get closer. Then it’s not so personal and you might as well go home and make out with your dog.

Do eventually close your eyes. Staring the whole time is a little intense.

Don’t panic. The slower, the better. Okay, yes, a little nervousness is fun and exciting.