18 Apr Extra button example… if you want it
Buttons can be hard to understand… here’s another example to help you out:
Patricia used to have a button called I’m not good enough. This was a belief she developed about herself as a result of being surrounded by people who had put her down – a lot. She didn’t realize what was happening in the moment, but when she got away from the people who constantly put her down, she was able to see that they influenced how she felt about herself. But before she gained this awareness, her button was triggered. When triggered she took everything personally and it made her feel horrible about herself.
For instance, if her daughter said, “Mommy, I didn’t like the sandwich you packed for me today,” Patricia, because of her button, would interpret her daughter’s comment as: “Mommy, I didn’t like the sandwich you packed for me today. You can never get anything right. You are just not good enough.” As a result, Patricia would respond harshly to her daughter and say negative things to herself in her head.
Over time though, with lots of work on awareness, the button had less and less of an influence. Now her daughter can talk about her lunchbox with no worries about it becoming a major source of tension. After all, it’s just a sandwich preference, not a statement about Patricia.
By becoming more aware of her self, Patricia disconnected the wiring to her button and was able to find much more enjoyment in life.
Patricia figured out her button over years of work. She didn’t have the benefit of a post like this to help her work through it. The longer those buttons sit inside you, the more control they have. You can work on your buttons by becoming more aware of your thoughts, feelings and behaviors.
If you feel like you are overly sensitive to certain people or types of comments then you may have a button that needs to be disconnected. Start a journal and right down the thoughts in your head when you are upset. Look for patterns over time. What types of things set you off and what do you say in your head? IF you find a pattern, that’s the beginning of naming your button. Once you can name your button, you can start to eliminate it by recognizing that it has been pressed and talking yourself through the situation.
Can you think of a button that a friend or someone may have triggered in you? Or maybe you triggered a button in someone else?