Well, I’m not totally comfortable with the idea, but I worry that if I don’t do it, then I might be considered a geek and no one will invite me to another party. I don’t want to create a reputation as a loser.

This response generally stems from a person who has some awareness of who they want to be, but lacks the confidence and moral guidance to make choices that express “who they want to be.” Giving into peer pressure is easy when you feel that going along with the crowd will make others’ view of you more favorable.

But when you have a strong sense of self, you can choose what to do based on what is right for you, not what seems cool to your friends. A strong sense of self means that you can ACT according to the way you feel inside. And guess what? That actually feels really empowering (providing a sense of power) and good. But when your sense of self uses others’ ideas and suggestions to “fill in the blanks” of your self, you might end up doing some things that  you’ll wish you hadn’t.