25 Jan Warning signs of an unhealthy relationship
Wait, what is an unhealthy relationship in the first place? Good point. That’s a great place to start:
An unhealthy relationship is when one or both members of the relationship are being hurt emotionally or physically.
The first warning sign might be a pit in your stomach, but sometimes we ignore all the signs and continue in the relationship because relationships, even the unhealthy ones, can make us feel good!
How is that possible?
Because often when someone is abusive, they also tend to be loving or caring in some way that makes us think they love us. But abuse isn’t love.
The warning signs of abuse include:
Emotional (He makes me feel bad about what I wear.)
Physical (She hits me all the time. Hard. It hurts.)
Verbal (He tells me to shut up and yells at me if I don’t call when I say I will.)
What they have in common is a person abusing power. (He won’t let me hang out with my friends.)
This is why setting up those boundaries are so important.
Abusive relationships cross boundaries. Here are a few typical ways this may occur:
controlling how the partner spends alone time (show me all your text messages from yesterday!),
deciding what a partner will eat (she can’t have the side of fries, she’s already too fat, change it to the fruit cup),
manipulating a partner’s social life (you are not to hang out with Sam anymore),
forcing a partner to go against family rules and traditions (don’t do what your father says, I tell you what to do now).
(Please click here if you feel you want to learn more about Dating Abuse.)
When you are not feeling strong about who you are….
meaning, if you don’t feel worthy, or smart enough, or loved enough, or skinny enough, or talented enough, or valued or important…..
then you are more likely to let bad things happen to you.
How can you become that strong, resilient person who feels valued, loved, supported and worthy? Keep reading this site and the YSS books! This is exactly why the Your Self Series was written. To empower you to feel strong, set boundaries and make good choices.
While thinking about how to prevent abuse and to make sure it doesn’t happen to you, consider what the writer meant by this quote: “If he hits you once, it’s his fault. If he hits you again, it’s your fault.” What does this quote mean to you? Is there ever a valid reason for someone to be abused or hit?