Your Past

Updated September, 2018.

Hi Nicki! I just told Ms. Leighton that she should talk to you about putting your work in the art fair. Your drawings are so good they definitely should be on display.

Are you nuts?! What is your problem?! How dare you do such a thing! 

Whoa, Nicki, What’s the problem? Taylor is right. Your work is amazing. You should exhibit. 

Don’t tell me what to do, Harrison. You don’t know the first thing about exhibiting art work. It’s a terrible idea. You can tell Ms. Leighton you made a horrible mistake.

Hey Nicki, this sounds like it is pushing some buttons in you. Remember that post about buttons in 3 Tips for Mental Health, well, maybe the idea of exhibiting is pushing your buttons.

What buttons? I’m not upset. Well, maybe a little. 

A little? I can feel your teeth on my neck from you biting my head off. What’s up with that?

Yeah, Nicki. Just relax and think about it. Maybe something happened. Like in the past.

Ok, well, yeah. Something did happen. And I’ll never forget it and I’ll never exhibit again!

That’s too bad that whatever happened to Nicki in the past is now keeping her from exhibiting her wonderful art work today. Her friends all recognize that she is an impressive artist. But Nicki says that a past experience has somehow scarred her and she’d rather not exhibit. 

Our past has a significant bearing on who we are today. Sometimes we don’t even realize it. Sometimes the events are tucked away in our subconscious and we don’t even know why we behave in certain ways. And that’s ok. But sometimes when we connect the dots from our past to our present, it can free us from some of the burdens that the past has created. 

This post is about connecting those dots. Why bother? Because if your past has made you feel poorly about yourself in any particular way, then you deserve to dig up that stuff and rearrange it in your mind so it can stop making you feel bad. 

Think about it this way, if you need to bike to the store for food and you have a flat tire, you’re going to grab the pump in the closet and fix the tire. You likely don’t think twice about it. You just do it because you need to get to the store. Likewise, if you have a negative thought about yourself (I am stupid) and that thought is keeping you from fully enjoying life, then why not go into the closet (your mind) and pull out the tool you’ll need to change the thought so you can enjoy life?

Well, it’s not quite that simple, which is why you will need to read all these posts to work through this concept. But one thing is for sure, if you can take the steps suggested here, you will be more likely to sign up for the next “art exhibit”!

This post will cover:

Why care about the past – it’s over?

Connect the dots – examples

Find the dots

Set your goal, make a plan, use some discipline

When my nanny moved out

Your turn – connect the dots

Your turn – make a plan

Bonus YSS: A common trap the past sets: repetition!

IMPORTANT: This post was created to help you make connections between your past and who you are today. It is not intended to take the place of a qualified mental health professional working one-on-one with you. If you have trouble processing the information in this post, or any other post on this website, seek professional help or speak to a trusted adult immediately. 

Post Question:

How has your past shaped the person you are today?

Answer the post question here

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  • Anonymous
    Posted at 13:57h, 08 November Reply

    Just like Nicki I had something happen to me in the past that has made me scarred to trust people fully. Growing up my mom was always in and out of my life, everytime that she came back into my life she did something to make me not trust her, everytime she came back she left. Now I have trust issues when new people come into my life, I dont let them get close to me because I have a fear of them just leaving.