Did you know that you have internal realities and external realities? You live in an external world, yes, but you also “live” inside your head with all your thoughts and feelings..

If you have thoughts of suicide, you will need to begin to change the perceptions/thoughts you have on the inside (internal) and begin to change your behavior patterns on the outside (external).

To manage your internal world, seeking the help of a professional or supportive adult is critical. But the first thing you can do, while you seek that help is to be compassionate to yourself within your own mind. Simply be nice! Teens are really adept (meaning skilled) at being mean to themselves, especially in their own minds. Catch yourself when you say something negative. Is that something you would have said to a friend? Likely not!

The next thing you can do is to look around and see if there are some changes in your external world that might be helpful in managing your situation. Here are a few ideas:

Surround yourself with people who support you. Disengage from people who are not supportive.

Don’t go to the party if you know you won’t be able to say no to drugs or excessive alcohol. This means thinking ahead about who you are when it comes to these things. What reputation do you desire? Can you say no to pressure? If not, work on building strength and confidence in yourself before you head off to a party where fitting in, being cool and showing off may be the main issues you face. Those are tough issues, but because you have insight, you are more aware of the potential hazards and can begin to change your plans to suit your best self.

Plan something different that you enjoy and will keep you safe. Do you prefer to watch silly movies with friends, cuddle your teddy and eat popcorn? Nothing wrong with that! Do it! You probably have a bunch of friends happy to join you. You may even know people who would rather be doing that but unable to admit it.

Keep your boundaries clear and safe. Please refer to our post on Healthy Relationships and the sub-post on boundaries.

Stay away from people who are a negative influence or who hurt you – this speaks to many points above. Hanging out with people who are mean makes us feel more sad and then that makes us think we deserve it. We don’t! Get away from people who make you feel sad about who you are.  Remember this quote from the movie Perks of a Wallflower (if you haven’t watched it, do!):