When all 10 parts of the self feel good about your choice, then you know you’ve made the right one. 

But sometimes you will need to wrestle with parts of yourself that conflict with each other (your emotional self wants to go out and have fun, your moral self thinks that you should obey your parents). As such, you may need to find a way through the situation that honors each part of yourself. That process can take some creativity. 

For instance, if coming home after curfew makes you feel guilty for deceiving your parents, then why would you even make that decision? Instead, make a shift – brainstorm some different options.

Shifting just takes some creativity, strategizing and planning—all important parts of your brain to use.

You want to go to the movies with Kristen, but you will break curfew. A few options:

Ask your parents to extend curfew this one time (if you are honest and open they may just say yes and then you are all set).

Make a trade for the curfew extension: I will walk the dog all weekend.

See if the movie is showing at an earlier time.

Tell Kristen the situation and see if you can plan ahead and work together to find a solution. 

Sometimes we get stuck when we feel the pressure to stick to a plan. But by being creative, strategic and by planning well, you will likely come up with alternate plans that feel more comfortable to you. Moreover, if you confide in your friends that a plan won’t work for you, then they will likely help you come up with a plan that feels good to everyone involved. Real friends help friends make decisions that feel good.