The earlier posts talked about values and traits as qualities that influence with whom we hang out. One personality trait that can attract us to someone (or not) is how outgoing a person can be. Typically, someone who is outgoing is described as extroverted while someone who is more reserved would be called introverted. Understanding this personality feature can help you get a better handle on your friendships and on what feels right for you.

Extroverts are outgoing; they prefer action and risk-taking; they work well in teams and socialize in groups. They can be loud and energetic during school, and then again on the lacrosse field, and then at the party that night! They never seem to turn off. The gain their energy from being with people.

Introverts are drawn to their inner worlds – What do I think? How do I feel? They work really well on their own and can be quite contemplative. They are happy with their one or two friends and enjoy quiet activities. They can be as social as the next person (who is most likely to be an extrovert) but they truly need the down time to re-energize.

Introverts can do all the same things that an extrovert can do but will need some down time to re-energize. They enjoy their solitude. For example, an introvert can speak to a crowd, or be the star athlete, but then will need some down time. (Note: many people have trouble public-speaking regardless of their social temperament.) You may be an introvert if you love being with your friends – or friend – but a few nights a week you’d prefer to cuddle up with your stuffed pig and watch comedies. Introverts favor a small circle of close friends over a larger group of friends to whom they don’t feel as close.

In teamwork assignments, an extrovert likes to take charge and be recognized for the work. An introvert will offer excellent ideas to team work and will likely prefer to do research quietly while someone else in the group works on the presentation. The most successful group work is usually accomplished with a group that has a balance of introverts and extroverts.

So, whichever social temperament with which you identify, remember that that is who you are, the way you were born, and there is absolutely no reason to be upset about it. Both temperaments have their advantages and disadvantages. Honor what feels right to you.