What makes you feel successful? When you focus on your success, rather than your stress, you’r off to a better start. 

Success is defined differently in different families and among different people and even cultures. What defines success to you?

Sit down and think about what YOU think would be “success” for you this year.  Ask yourself, “What exactly do I need to do to feel successful about my school work and/or my athletic performance and/or my art?” 

If feeling successful is your ultimate goal, how do you get there? You will need a plan. You will need to set short term goals along the way. You ultimately want to feel successful, NOT like you failed. One idea is to start small and set attainable goals. 

For example, if success for you is defined in terms of grades, you may have the long term goal of straight A’s on your report card. Great goal. But if your grades last year were all C’s, you might want to set you initial sight not on getting straight A’s immediately, but maybe on getting one grade higher up in each class. That means if you got a C in Science last year, set a goal of betting a B- on your first assignment. That way you are setting your self up for something that is more likely to happen. That’s not to say that you can’t get an A right away, but it’s harder. So instead of aiming for goals that are really tough, aim for ones that are just above where you were in the short term to help you get to a bigger goal in the long term.

As another example, if you love theatre and you define success as being in the school play, think about some steps you will need to take in order to raise your chances of success. You might set aside an hour every day to practice your singing the week before try outs. You might also watch some videos of how other people played the parts for which you are trying out. Those steps will help you to raise your chances of having a successful try out. Plus, if this is the first time you are trying out, a small part would be quite an achievement. Trying out for the lead role, when you have never been in a play before, might lead to disappointment. That way, if you aim for the small role, and get the small role, Success!! But, if you aim for a small role, and then Surprise! get the lead, no disappointment and lots of smiles.

Setting more achievable goals and breaking down what you need to do into steps helps to set your self up for success. That way you feel proud of the outcome and can add a few more items or higher goals to your list when you are ready. 

In addition, why not sit down with your parents and talk about HOW you are feeling stressed and what your goals are?  One teen we know did this and walked away with a new computer to help manage his time.