We put the first part of the definition in italics for two reasons:

1. Genital contact of any sort, such as with your hands, mouth or your private parts, is considered a sex ACT. Such contact is how many DISEASES and infections can be transmitted.
2. Sexual intercourse is not always followed by orgasm! As such, it certainly is not a defining factor in determining if an action was considered “sex” or not.

So that is what sex is. Now you can read about what is NOT sex. 

Kissing is not sex. It may be something that you do while having sex, or before sex, and it is sexual in nature, but it is not sex (unless the kissing moves to the private parts). Kissing is very personal and intimate and not something that everyone just does to be friendly. Can you imagine if it was customary to start making out with someone just because you met them for the first time? That would be sooo gross, unless of course you met the person of your dreams one day! LOL.

Petting (stroking the body in a intimate way) is not sex. Again, it may be something that you do before and during sex, but until it involves the genital regions, it is not considered sex. And thank goodness this is also not a tradition when leaving a person instead of waving good-bye! Petting, is, duh, quite personal. (AND! If someone touches you when and where you don’t want that person to, then she has violated your personal space and it should be addressed. We’ll get into that later….)

HOWEVER!, intimate kissing and intimate touching by an adult (18 and older) with someone under 18, is considered a sex crime and is taken very seriously. If you, or someone you know, is engaged in sexual behavior with an adult, please discuss the dangers with that person or talk to an adult about the possible legal risks. Some 17 year olds date and engage in sexual activity with 18 year olds and think nothing of it. But the law says it is illegal. This is important to know. Even if both people are willing and happy to be sexual, the law is still the law. The law was made to protect minors from adults with ill-intent (bad thoughts and actions).

Kissing and petting are sexual in nature—they are natural precursors to sex (sometimes eventually lead to sex… however long that may take is a personal choice and perfectly OK). Kissing and petting express intimacy and affection for another person—hey, that’s a really nice thing! And yes, they both can feel really good. Think of kissing and petting as a physical expression of your inner, emotional feelings. So if you feel like you like someone, and want to express it, kissing and petting are physical ways that you may choose to do that. But YOU must choose them and want them. Unwanted kissing and touching is not OK. (And, if kissing and petting doesn’t feel good, then maybe you might consider that a sign to rethink what you are doing. Just sayin’…)