Healthy relationships 101

Healthy relationships stem from knowing who you are and what you want in a relationship – and then being able to find a person who shares similar desires! Once you find that person it can feel like winning the lottery and having the ability to fly all at once. But how do you maintain it?

Did you know that healthy, long-lasting relationships take work? Though it may not feel like work at first because you are in la-la land, articles and experts continually report on the value of effort in a relationship. But that effort can be rather easy and natural once you get the hang of it. This topic is here to help you to get the hang of it:-)

To begin, think about this question: How do you want to feel in a relationship?

Loved (Liked)?

Accepted?

Happy?

Cared for?

What else? The above are all very natural desires, and if at any time you start to feel unhappy, unloved (disliked), unaccepted or uncared for, then that is a good signal to think about the relationship and what is happening.

A healthy relationship is, among other things, mutually consensual, meaning both people want to be in it for positive reasons: top of that list is generally because both people really like each other. However, some people enter relationships for reasons that have little to do with actually liking the other person. (Gasp! We know.) See below:

He was the most popular boy at school.

I was dared to ask her out.

I heard that she was a good kisser.

My parents approve and I don’t want to let them down.

He liked me, but I had never thought about dating him before. 

Her sister is hot so I thought I could get to her sister through her.

Her brother is hot, so…

She was the only one left in the pack. We were kind of forced together.

If I don’t get together with someone people will think…..

Don’t be afraid to ask yourself: Why am I entering this relationship? It’s a great question! Others include: Will it make me happy? How? Is it because I genuinely like this person or is it for other reasons (such as those noted above)? Are those reasons the basis for a good relationship?

A solid foundation is built upon qualities that serve the relationship and serve you. The following posts explore the qualities that build a solid and healthy relationship…

Post Question:

What do you want to feel in a relationship?

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  • WLKHS1216
    Posted at 21:26h, 08 November Reply

    In a relationship, I would want to feel like there is a balance of power, care, love, and happiness. Meaning that, the decisions are balanced between the two people and not one person is making all choices. Also, both people need to care for each other, or else it is not a relationship. The same goes for love, meaning, if only one person love the other but the other does not love them back, there should not be a relationship between them. Lastly, happiness should be shared between both people because relationships should be positive and happy.

  • WLKHS1212
    Posted at 16:35h, 08 November Reply

    In a relationship I would like to feel that I have power. So not all one person boy or girl gets to make all the final decisions and choices, on what they are going to do, where are they going out, ect. I would also like to feel that I have my own choice and if I want to talk to other girls or if I cant. Finally, I would like to feel cared for and I am important.

  • WLKHS1302
    Posted at 16:21h, 08 November Reply

    In a relationship, i want to be happy and feel loved. I want to feel important and be cared for. If both people in a relationship are not giving each other 100%, its not worth it and maybe they should not be together. When in a relationship, i also want my partner to feel important and loved as well.

  • WLKHS1407
    Posted at 13:57h, 08 November Reply

    I want to feel that I am cared for, and I am happy when with the person. I don’t want it to be a forced relationship for either of us because that will only end bad. I also want the person to trust me, and being able to trust them.

  • WLKHS1219
    Posted at 23:48h, 07 November Reply

    I want to feel accepted in a relationship. it is because when I talk to a person I and the other person needs to feel accepted by the other person. i should feel that when we are talking he accepted me fully.

  • WLKHS1111
    Posted at 14:03h, 07 November Reply

    I would want to feel that I would be cared for and that the relationship would be consensual, just like mentioned in the reading because is both people in the relationship do not care for each other, or only one person cares, someone, or both people will feel not cared for, making them want to break up. This makes a relationship not work.